Every leader needs honest feedback. Few actually receive it.

It could be the result of a workplace culture that handles feedback with kid gloves. Or a silent signal from management that dissent is unwelcomed. Some employees may rightfully wonder if candor is worth the cost of losing out on better projects or pay. Whatever the reason, the reality is harsh: Instead of getting honest feedback, leaders get sidelined.

That's why leaders have to make it easier, safer, and more rewarding for people to share honest feedback, especially when it's uncomfortable. That starts by asking better questions, creating the right conditions, and putting feedback to work. Here are three ways leaders can get the truths they need without having to worry or wonder.

Ask better questions

When leaders ask targeted questions about what to change, clarify, or stop, they lower the bar for speaking up and show that candor is expected. A few well-placed prompts can turn their request for feedback into a conversation where others don't feel compelled to hold back.

Practical examples:

• In a 1:1: “What’s one thing I did this week that made your work harder than it needed to be?”
• After a presentation: “What’s one thing I should change next time to make this more clear or useful?”
• With your leadership team: “Have I unknowingly gotten in the way of your goals?"
• With a project team: “If you were in my role, what’s the first thing you would do differently?”

Do this:

• Ask specific, bite-sized questions instead of “Do you have any feedback for me?”
• Embrace the power of the pause and don't rush to respond
• Thank people for every piece of input, even if it hurts

Don't do this:

• Do not ask for feedback in a rushed moment on your way out the door
• Do not argue, correct, or explain while others are sharing feedback
• Do not elicit feedback only during formal evaluation periods

Create emotional safety

It's one thing to champion psychological safety; it's another to make people feel emotionally safe. For many, the decision to share feedback with their manager comes down to a simple risk-reward calculation: What do I stand to gain or lose from saying this out loud? Knowing this, it's the job of a leader to de-risk feedback by creating the conditions for emotional safety.

Practical examples:

• When someone shares tough feedback: “Thank you for trusting me with that. I know it is not easy to say.”
• When you cannot act on feedback: “I can't change that decision, but here is what I can do, and I still want us to keep talking.”
• When a mistake surfaces: “Let’s focus on solutions, not blame.”

Do this:

• Respond to feedback with curiosity, not judgment
• Give others permission to disagree with you
• Be open about your own mistakes

Don’t do this:

• Don't shut down criticism
• Don't overpromise
• Don't say one thing and do another

Want to get more honest talk? Watch or listen to my conversation with Steven Gaffney

Recognize and reward feedback

People watch what happens after they speak up. If nothing changes, they'll opt out. Why bother to share feedback when it seems to go nowhere? The best way to reward feedback is to close the loop.

Practical examples:

• After an employee raises an issue with a process: “You flagged that our handoff steps were confusing. We updated the checklist and added a quick huddle at the start of each sprint. That change came directly from your feedback.”
• After a survey: “Three themes came up repeatedly: unclear priorities, too many meetings, and limited development opportunities. Here's what we're changing in the next 90 days.”
• When you cannot implement a suggestion: “We aren't able to do X because of Y constraint, but here is one part of your idea we are going to pilot.”

Do this:

• Publicly acknowledge ideas and the people who raise them
• Communicate the "why" behind your reasons
• Show others how their feedback led to concrete actions

Don’t do this:

• Don't release a survey without a clear timetable for implementation
• Don't wait too long to act on feedback
• Don't forget to recognize others with positive feedback

Leaders get honest feedback by choice, not chance. By asking better questions, creating emotional safety, and recognizing those who share feedback, leaders will get more feedback, more of the time – and honestly, that's a great thing for them and for those they lead.

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